Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? What if your friend heard you tell him, “You are such a loser. Only an idiot would do that. How can you be so stupid?” You probably wouldn’t have that friend for long. But why then do you say those things to yourself, in your self-talk? These are damaging to the self-esteem.

Self-esteem is how we value ourselves, and how we treat ourselves, even in our thoughts. Some Christians think that it is wrong to have self-esteem, because it is being confused with being selfish. The Bible says, “Love your neighbor AS you love yourself,” not “instead of” yourself. When we have love for ourselves, we are taking good care of our body, mind and spirit. Then we can love others even better.

The Bible also says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” If you constantly think you are a loser, you will be a loser. If you challenge your negative thoughts, and tell yourself positive things, such as “It’s okay to make a mistake. I know that I am trying,” then you will be okay.

Joel Osteen said in a message titled, “You are not Damaged Goods,” that if we are still alive, we have value. If God didn’t think so, he would take us up to heaven. When we label ourselves in negative ways, we are limiting what God can do in us and through us, to better the world.

Do you need some help improving your self-esteem? I would love to work with you to help you improve your thought life. Please give me a call today.


J. Faith Gallup, LCSW